How to Effectively Face Your Fears: Beyond White Knuckling It

If you've dealt with any sort of situational anxiety or specific phobia in your life, odds are someone has suggested that the way to get over it is to simply "face your fears."

Afraid of heights? Ride that rollercoaster.

Can't stand public speaking? Volunteer for a presentation at work.

Afraid of shark attacks? Go for a dip at your local aquarium.

While this advice seems unhelpful on the surface, it turns out it's not too far off (except maybe that last one). Many different proven treatments for anxiety rely on the concept of exposure - strategically and systematically exposing yourself to feared objects and situations.

There are two primary reasons this works:

1) Part of the reason we have these anxieties is because our mind has associated them with discomfort and danger - and that association is often disproportionately stronger than the actual threat. By exposing ourselves to these situations without the feared outcome (e.g., going on the rollercoaster without dying), we begin to diminish and break these associations, as well as the anxiety that goes with them.

2) It changes the way we perceive the feeling of anxiety itself. The reason a rollercoaster seems intolerable to someone with a fear of heights is that the anxiety seems so extreme that it feels completely intolerable. By placing ourselves in these situations, we also allow ourselves to learn that our anxious response to these things is uncomfortable but tolerable - a realization powerful enough in its own right, but also one that tends to decrease the feeling of anxiety.

Now, of course, facing these fears is really difficult - that's kind of the whole problem. So, how can you make these steps a little easier to take?

• Start small. You don't need to overcome your fear of public speaking by singing that national anthem at the Super Bowl. Something as simple as speaking up in a meeting at work can be a great start.

• Have a reason for doing it. The freedom from the anxiety likely feels like it should be enough, but go further. Remind yourself before you spend some time at the dog park to get over your fear of dogs, and getting over this will allow you to finally visit that good friend of yours who recently adopted a lab mix.

If you feel like you need more help - we're here. We have extensive experience treating phobias and other forms of anxiety with exposure and other treatments.